[Not suicidal. He does enjoy his life - even if he doesn't always feel like he fits into it. And he loves his friends. Loves then enough that he would give up his existence if it meant they could save their home and families, have a shot at a better future.]
Thanks.
[He smiles, grateful. That means a lot. He wants to be normal.]
But, I don't know. I mean, you've met Version 1.0. And I met him when he was older. There were a lot more screws loose, you know? Maybe it was the daemons. Maybe he was cooped up for too long, or maybe Ardyn pushed him too far. What if it's genetic? I don't know. I don't know if I want to know.
I do know, I don't want kids. Like, he was right about that. I did tell him that. Whatever he is, and this-- [He gestures at his own body.] I think it should end here. No more Besithias.
You're not a Besithia. You're an Argentum, and a Lucian. Where you came from or how you were born- [Yes, born, he doesn't care if he's a clone or whatever-] -that doesn't matter. It's who you are now that counts, and you're nothing like that guy.
[Deep down he knows he needs to act like a king, when it comes to decisions like this, when the question asked is "should MTs exist". He knows the answer should be no, absolutely and unequivocally. He can't be a king here, though. Not with Prompto, the only person back home who's ever left all those royal expectations on the floor. He and Prompto, they're just two people, same as always.]
Whether you have kids or not, whatever, that's your call. But it should be your call, a hundred percent, and not because of him.
[He listens, and nods, though when Noct gets to "born" his heart constricts in a way that makes his whole chest ache. It's such a little, plain word. He sniffles past a smile.]
Yeah well, Argentums adopt.
[He doesn't have to pass on his genes or whatever to have a kid. War makes orphans. Someone'll have to take care of them. And he'd do a better job than the ones who adopted him.
They could leave it here. He could move the conversation away to more pleasant things. It wouldn't even be hard. But eventually it would come around and they would be right back here. It was probably better to just get it all out now.]
Before we get too off-topic, I think there's something else you should know.
[He'd rather tell Noctis himself, than have it discovered or stumbled on, like what had happened with Kaname.]
After I learned where I was from, I was in a pretty bad place. I was scared. And lost. And I didn't like myself very much. [Which was a mild way of putting it. A shaky breath out.] I tried getting rid of the barcode.
[Adopt... yeah, that tracks. While Prompto's parents weren't around as often as they should have been, at least he had them. At least they kept him, let him be a person. That's better than Niflheim would have ever given him. Sometimes you learn how to be a good parent by having a shitty one; here and there, he'd thought about what it might be like to be a father, and he stubbornly believed that he could do better than the kings who came before him to balance his life, spend more time with them. And Regis wasn't even a bad father, just. Could have been better.
He'd like to meet Prompto's kids one day. If he ever grows up enough to be a dad, anyway. Neither of them are prepped for that any time soon, that's for sure.
He's smiling a little at the thought, but it fades as Prompto continues, brows furrowing. The way he says it...]
[The Argentums weren't the best. But they weren't terrible. They weren't even bad. He wished maybe they were more present and more affectionate and more present, but they gave him a home, and he got to grow up safe and fed and educated, if a bit lonely.
He's got his lips pressed together the way he does when he's feeling too many things.]
Fire? I um, I took a stick from the fire and tried to...
[He mimes it - how he'd taken a smoldering stick and pressed it to his then-bare wrist.]
[It's probably expected, but there's no hiding the obvious horror in Noct's expression at those words. He burned it?]
Wh- what? Prompto...
[He wants to ask why, but Prompto had already said as much- lost, scared. And he must have been alone, because if they'd been there for him they would have stopped it, surely. It happened while they were separated, then. To an extent, he can understand. It sounds awful, whatever it is that Prompto had gone through.
At the same time... it's just so senseless. If not for the words coming right out of his friend's mouth, he'd never have imagined Prompto would hurt himself like that.]
[He doesn't want Noct to look at him like that. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. It would have been fine. He squeezes his eyes shut and curls into himself.]
I'm sorry. It was only the one time.
[Not to say he didn't still want it gone. But his way of dealing with that was to keep it hidden away, like he always had before. Out of sight, out of mind. Mostly.]
[Only one time... like that isn't enough to horrify anyone.
He isn't so socially inept that he can't recognize that he's handling this poorly, that Prompto is closing himself off, probably regretting sharing it. He doesn't say anything at first, taking a moment to lean back, to take a deep breath and really consider what matters here. He wasn't there for Prompto at the time. He can be there for him now.
Quietly he reaches out to touch Prompto's arm- not where the bracelet is, but close, trying to tug him back from where he'd curled up.]
[He can't imagine what Noct must be thinking. (Not true. He can imagine all sorts of things, none of them good. He has to remind himself none of them are true.) The silence only lasts a moment or two, but it feels like an eternity.
His arm jerks at the touch, but after a moment of a hesitation, he nods.]
Um. Y-yeah. Sure.
[His fingers shake some as he works over the clasp of the bracelet, until it fall away and he holds his bare arm out. Aranea had got a potion on him quickly enough. There's hardly any scarring.]
[He hadn't even noticed scarring the first time Prompto showed him, wouldn't even have known to look for it, since it was the only time he'd ever seen under the bracelet. Now he takes time to study it more carefully, not the numbers (because those are irrelevant, Prompto is more than a number, and he doesn't even want to accidentally know them in case that information is passed on to Besithia) but the design itself. There isn't much to see, just a simple bar code and some diamonds.
Hm.]
You know... if you fill in some of the lines between, maybe do some work around it, you could turn it into something else. A cityscape, maybe? Or something out of King's Knight. Something cool.
[He leans forward and looks down at his own wrist and the stark lines and numbers etched into it.]
Cover it up with something else?
[Bracelets and bands and keeping it hidden had become so ingrained that he'd never even considered doing something else with it. It's hard to imagine not wearing something over his wrist. His arm feels weird even now. Itchy and naked and exposed.]
Never thought about it. But... It would be be better than this.
[One problem.]
Don't suppose robots have much need for tats, though.
[Noctis leans his communicator over Prompto's arm just long enough to take a clear photo with it. He checks to make sure it's clear enough to satisfy what he needs it for, then adds,]
All good. You can cover it up if you want.
[He doesn't care, but he'd be an idiot not to notice how uncomfortable Prompto is when it's visible. He focuses back on his comm, loading the photo up in the painting program he's been using for the King's Knight design process, and summons a digital pen from the Armiger. A new layer is created, and first he covers up the numbers, not wanting to even look at them long enough to accidentally memorize them. He never wants Prompto to be a number in his mind. Then he just starts… doodling. Curling lines, twisting patterns, a bunch of nonsense that resembles the simple sketches or stickers he'd sent in Luna's notebook, trying to create something less clinical from the barcode.]
[He snorts at the pen appearing from the Armiger (nerd) while flipping the bracelet back over his arm and pulling it tightly back into place. Scooting forward until he's crowding Noct's space, he leans in to get a better view of the comm.
He watches for a bit, sometimes making a noise of interest if a particular shape sparks interest. The designs on his other wrist are simple. He won't be able to get away with something thin and small to cover up the block of black bars.]
[Noctis tries to interpret the noises Prompto's making, outlining details he likes, redoing whatever doesn't seem to make a good impression. At the suggestion, he tilts his head to consider the idea, then saves the doodle and turns off the drawn layer, creating a new one. He taps the screen a couple of times, then starts tracing along the barcode lines, blending a few together and elongating them into tufty feathers.]
Like the egg at Wiz's place? The chick?
[Adding actual colour for a yellow one would be tricky, but... black chocobo, black tattoo. It's doable.]
Or the one that stole Specs' specs, but you slept right through that.
Probably a good idea to use those, [Noctis grins, a little sheepishly. He's improved with free time to practice, but he's still very rusty, and anything looks better when drawn with proper references on hand. As it is, the doodle is still slowly coming together as a more cartoony-stylized rendition of a chocobo chick, with barcode wings and the numbers smothered in curled claws and nesting greens.]
[While Noctis works on that, Prompto pulls out his camera and starts looking for the right collection of files. It takes a while - there's a lot to go through. It's fortunate he just seems to somehow know exactly where the chocobo pictures are for some strange reason. It's like he's got them memorized or something.
Once he's found the black chocobo chick, he angles the view screen so Noct can reference it.]
I wanna try a few other ideas, but I'm like, 90% sure this what I'm going to want.
Sure, experiment all you want. It's your tat, might as well be happy with the end result.
[Especially considering the permanence. He looks up at the camera, taking in a few of the details he'd missed (as well as indulge in awww, chocobo, because it's been so long), and erases a section of the doodle to redraw it. Still need to figure out what to do with the diamond bits on the side...]
Might also want to find yourself a real artist, while you're at it.
[He doesn't sound...entirely thrilled with the idea. He can be as vague as he likes initially, but eventually he's going to have to explain what he needs an artist for.
He could try lying?]
Though I wouldn't be opposed to a Prince of Lucis original, either.
[That reluctance is easy to notice, and just as easy to understand. If Prompto doesn't even like showing the tattoo to his closest friends, it wouldn't be easy to explain the need for an alteration for it to a stranger.
He taps the pen against the side of the communicator thoughtfully.]
Well, if you're really prepared to have an amateur artist's work permanently attached to your skin just for the bragging rights, I'm not gonna judge your life choices.
[But if that's what Prompto prefers, he's definitely going to go all out and make it the best picture possible.]
[He is actually really happy with that idea? Not for bragging rights. It just feels more meaningful this way - to have something created by his best friend instead of someone else.]
Still gotta figure how to get it on the skin, unless you wanna try your hand at that too.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
this_loser) wrote2019-07-26 04:31 am
no subject
Thanks.
[He smiles, grateful. That means a lot. He wants to be normal.]
But, I don't know. I mean, you've met Version 1.0. And I met him when he was older. There were a lot more screws loose, you know? Maybe it was the daemons. Maybe he was cooped up for too long, or maybe Ardyn pushed him too far. What if it's genetic? I don't know. I don't know if I want to know.
I do know, I don't want kids. Like, he was right about that. I did tell him that. Whatever he is, and this-- [He gestures at his own body.] I think it should end here. No more Besithias.
no subject
[Deep down he knows he needs to act like a king, when it comes to decisions like this, when the question asked is "should MTs exist". He knows the answer should be no, absolutely and unequivocally. He can't be a king here, though. Not with Prompto, the only person back home who's ever left all those royal expectations on the floor. He and Prompto, they're just two people, same as always.]
Whether you have kids or not, whatever, that's your call. But it should be your call, a hundred percent, and not because of him.
no subject
Yeah well, Argentums adopt.
[He doesn't have to pass on his genes or whatever to have a kid. War makes orphans. Someone'll have to take care of them. And he'd do a better job than the ones who adopted him.
They could leave it here. He could move the conversation away to more pleasant things. It wouldn't even be hard. But eventually it would come around and they would be right back here. It was probably better to just get it all out now.]
Before we get too off-topic, I think there's something else you should know.
[He'd rather tell Noctis himself, than have it discovered or stumbled on, like what had happened with Kaname.]
After I learned where I was from, I was in a pretty bad place. I was scared. And lost. And I didn't like myself very much. [Which was a mild way of putting it. A shaky breath out.] I tried getting rid of the barcode.
no subject
He'd like to meet Prompto's kids one day. If he ever grows up enough to be a dad, anyway. Neither of them are prepped for that any time soon, that's for sure.
He's smiling a little at the thought, but it fades as Prompto continues, brows furrowing. The way he says it...]
What do you mean, getting rid of it?
[You can't just get rid of a tattoo-]
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He's got his lips pressed together the way he does when he's feeling too many things.]
Fire? I um, I took a stick from the fire and tried to...
[He mimes it - how he'd taken a smoldering stick and pressed it to his then-bare wrist.]
Didn't even work.
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Wh- what? Prompto...
[He wants to ask why, but Prompto had already said as much- lost, scared. And he must have been alone, because if they'd been there for him they would have stopped it, surely. It happened while they were separated, then. To an extent, he can understand. It sounds awful, whatever it is that Prompto had gone through.
At the same time... it's just so senseless. If not for the words coming right out of his friend's mouth, he'd never have imagined Prompto would hurt himself like that.]
no subject
I'm sorry. It was only the one time.
[Not to say he didn't still want it gone. But his way of dealing with that was to keep it hidden away, like he always had before. Out of sight, out of mind. Mostly.]
no subject
He isn't so socially inept that he can't recognize that he's handling this poorly, that Prompto is closing himself off, probably regretting sharing it. He doesn't say anything at first, taking a moment to lean back, to take a deep breath and really consider what matters here. He wasn't there for Prompto at the time. He can be there for him now.
Quietly he reaches out to touch Prompto's arm- not where the bracelet is, but close, trying to tug him back from where he'd curled up.]
Hey... can I see it?
no subject
His arm jerks at the touch, but after a moment of a hesitation, he nods.]
Um. Y-yeah. Sure.
[His fingers shake some as he works over the clasp of the bracelet, until it fall away and he holds his bare arm out. Aranea had got a potion on him quickly enough. There's hardly any scarring.]
no subject
Hm.]
You know... if you fill in some of the lines between, maybe do some work around it, you could turn it into something else. A cityscape, maybe? Or something out of King's Knight. Something cool.
no subject
Cover it up with something else?
[Bracelets and bands and keeping it hidden had become so ingrained that he'd never even considered doing something else with it. It's hard to imagine not wearing something over his wrist. His arm feels weird even now. Itchy and naked and exposed.]
Never thought about it. But... It would be be better than this.
[One problem.]
Don't suppose robots have much need for tats, though.
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[He hesitates, then lifts his comm. When he continues his voice is a little more gentle.]
Can I take a pic?
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[He didn't have to explain anything past saying he was interested in a tattoo. Not at first, anyway.]
I ... guess so? Why?
[He angles his wrist for the picture anyway, because he's trusting like that.]
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[Noctis leans his communicator over Prompto's arm just long enough to take a clear photo with it. He checks to make sure it's clear enough to satisfy what he needs it for, then adds,]
All good. You can cover it up if you want.
[He doesn't care, but he'd be an idiot not to notice how uncomfortable Prompto is when it's visible. He focuses back on his comm, loading the photo up in the painting program he's been using for the King's Knight design process, and summons a digital pen from the Armiger. A new layer is created, and first he covers up the numbers, not wanting to even look at them long enough to accidentally memorize them. He never wants Prompto to be a number in his mind. Then he just starts… doodling. Curling lines, twisting patterns, a bunch of nonsense that resembles the simple sketches or stickers he'd sent in Luna's notebook, trying to create something less clinical from the barcode.]
no subject
He watches for a bit, sometimes making a noise of interest if a particular shape sparks interest. The designs on his other wrist are simple. He won't be able to get away with something thin and small to cover up the block of black bars.]
What about a chocobo?
no subject
Like the egg at Wiz's place? The chick?
[Adding actual colour for a yellow one would be tricky, but... black chocobo, black tattoo. It's doable.]
Or the one that stole Specs' specs, but you slept right through that.
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[He's liking this idea more and more and scoots closer, if that's even possible.]
I got reference photos. Tons.
[As Noct should already know, because he's already seen them.]
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[While Noctis works on that, Prompto pulls out his camera and starts looking for the right collection of files. It takes a while - there's a lot to go through. It's fortunate he just seems to somehow know exactly where the chocobo pictures are for some strange reason. It's like he's got them memorized or something.
Once he's found the black chocobo chick, he angles the view screen so Noct can reference it.]
I wanna try a few other ideas, but I'm like, 90% sure this what I'm going to want.
no subject
[Especially considering the permanence. He looks up at the camera, taking in a few of the details he'd missed (as well as indulge in awww, chocobo, because it's been so long), and erases a section of the doodle to redraw it. Still need to figure out what to do with the diamond bits on the side...]
Might also want to find yourself a real artist, while you're at it.
no subject
[He doesn't sound...entirely thrilled with the idea. He can be as vague as he likes initially, but eventually he's going to have to explain what he needs an artist for.
He could try lying?]
Though I wouldn't be opposed to a Prince of Lucis original, either.
no subject
He taps the pen against the side of the communicator thoughtfully.]
Well, if you're really prepared to have an amateur artist's work permanently attached to your skin just for the bragging rights, I'm not gonna judge your life choices.
[But if that's what Prompto prefers, he's definitely going to go all out and make it the best picture possible.]
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Still gotta figure how to get it on the skin, unless you wanna try your hand at that too.
[Kidding.]
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Yeah, I'll get right on that. But you'll have to volunteer your ass for a practice run.